burning up inside
meh.
been enduring mysterious computer failures over the past few days.
ran mem test in safe mode last night. no errors. hmm.
today, i randomly restart and find everything loading fin.
i downloaded and ran GPU-Z (heat noter) and Aida32(system profiler). i find myself strongly suspecting that my graphics card has been overheating. hmm. though i started L4D and noted the CPU maxing out, alongside the GPU heating up. hmmmmmmm.
bleh. fail. fear.
bleh. my computer has been randomly restarting and sometimes just going to a black screen as windows loads.
today it officialyl just goes to blue screen instead of completeing the windows loading. very frustrating. i wish to kill the zombies (Left4Dead).
Running mem tests. but. bleh. need to fix computer. and stop playing video games. and get back to work. somehow.
in other news, i did setup (and am paying for) a shopping cart. just never bothered to link to it from any of the web pages. EEK!. must do this. must… make it look slightly prettier first, and then do this.
in other news, my good friend Maria has her new website uP! go visit! Http://www.mariadeira.com !!!
Saying “lost the mission” would be an understatement.
Took a 9 to 5 government job (with a union). Moved back to Corvallis (land of tasty food). Settling into a new basement apartment (haven’t see the Corvallis Basement Spiders yet).
Was also deathly ill. Vomitted blood. story for another time.
Finally starting to feel less chaotic.
But I’ve been playing a ton of Left4Dead (with only escalation in sight).
Very close to being broke (like 8-bucks-in-checking-account broke). But supposedly getting first paycheck this week. should be back to freewheeling by the end of next month (when next paycheck arrives). several debts to attend to. weee.
I feel very close to being a simple friendly old man. it is weird.
but the comic books and art explorations WILL CONTINUE NEVERTHELESSSSSSSS. sometime. soonish.
just finished watching Ridley Scott’s “A Good Year”. i thought it was very charming and delightful. i’m not sure it worked as a “romcom” proper. but. it did warm the cockels of my small black heart.
and here it is almost 430am. It appears almost certain i’ll be taking a proper job in the next week, and the change in schedule will be extraordinary. This the new thing I’ve found to be nervous about. Next I expect i’ll manage to be nervous concerning the quality of my work, and worry that no one will tell me to my face how aweful it all is. But hopefully that will be a brief phase of neurosis, and all will transition to wine and roses once it becomes clear this isn’t another small business boiler situation. hopefully. Continue reading “Checkup”
random nonsense title : check.
Just wanted to mention Fritz Leiber. Just stumbled across the guy (reading a graphic novel by Mike Mignola and others, which adapts some of his strange fantasy). Thought YOU might enjoy TOO:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_Leiber
Today was interesting. woke from a weird dream. All inspired to work on Jedi 6 effects (recreating Devil’s Tower in a cheap’n’cheesy landscape program. basically inspired to do everything except decide on the gun that will be the focus of the neededs shots).
Also stayed up a bit last night writing out narrations for the Poor In Portland documentary. Like, trying to think of what to say (and how to edit) during the start of the film. which was a refreshing reminder that the project isn’t all that impossible.
I think i was enormously inspired by a simple email from friend-jonason, who mentioned resuming work on one his videos. i’m tempted to confront all my friends with the apparent fact that i thrive on artistic competition, and if they could all just work on shit- i would be a thousand times further inspired to work on my own. to out do them. in a friendly way.
i needs it. the competition angle. me thinks.
anywhoooo. need to return some library books. buy some groceries. prepare some sort of VitHumor for tomorrow. night already seem sorta shot. erf
nothing much new really. Feels like I’ve placed my whole life on hold for over a month, while pining for a paying job with friends. Should be resolved soon. i hope. good lord.
Daniel Waters, the writer of Heathers (and helper on scripts of hudson hawk, Demolition Man, and Batman Returns), recommends the work of PAddy Chayefsky and Billy Wilder. I just mention as a note to self, so i can throw away a scrap of paper. He also recommends “The Second Sex” by Simon de Beauvoir, to anyone hoping to write women characters. Continue reading “checkup: hoo ha”
accomplished: nada.
spent wednes(yester)day in Albany with Parents. Mensa lunch was overfilling and quaint. watched some king lear and some presidential debate, and then went and saw Ridley Scott’s Body of Lies. I don’t have the heart to attempt a proper review of it. it seemed a muddled mess of irrelevence. not clearly liberal or conservative, but annoying to both. (ie, there was some fairy tale aspects, like certain activities being too naughty for the CIA to acknowledge, or the hardened agent having to go back for the women he barely knew but had apparently fallen in love with. meh. and then there was the fairly brainless incompetent fat-old-white-guy, who only defended his lame actions once, briefly, by claiming he had to constantly risk incompetence due to a global perspective. poor writing, methinks. these were all very liberal pleasing forms of propaganda. Continue reading “Checkup”
So What did i accomplish today : nada.
last night we all stayed up late finishing the third season of Lost. WOW THAT IS AN AMAZING SHOW. I stayed up later and watched the Heroes season 3 online rerun, and was struck by how much better Lost is. was. is.
I’m slowly settling into the mindset that i didn’t land my recent dream job, despite being weird, cold, and manic during the interview. go figure. Sooo, today was the first day in a few weeks where i sat down and tried to work an 8 hour shift (for Solid Fuel)(I’ve been farting around quitting cigarettes and praying for this job, to the tune of not really keeping any normal hours). Continue reading “What did i accomplish today?”
I’m lightly frustrated by the lack of tangible vidHero-specific progress lately. Although there has been a lot of thinking, the doing has been distracted. I’d like to blame the lack of any important progress on the quitting of nicotine. but this feels like a cop out (because i’m nervous that as soon as I have any real stress, i’ll just head right back to the comforting arms of addiction land) (and because it seems like the chemical addiction must be dying down, so my continued practice of doing-nothing must be more psychological). Continue reading “Just another blog”